The animal made him proud and won the race.

Two Irish men are looking through a catalogue.

Thank you for sharing. So the doctor gives the man the tablets, and the patient asks, Do I have to take them every day? No, replies the doctor, take one on a Monday, skip the Tuesday, take one on Wednesday, skip the Thursday and go on like that. Where do you think youre going? asks the foreman. No, the man replied. Why are donkeys, monkeys and turkeys similar? When do donkeys have six legs? This is one of the best Irish jokes that Ive come across recently. In the section below, weve popped in the most FAQs that weve received. Paddy and Murphy are on holiday in Santa Ponsa and are running out of money when they see a sign that reads: Spend 10 minutes in a room with a million flies and ear 2000. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the presidents office. Related reads:See our guides to the best Irish toasts for drinks, weddings and more. What do donkeys like to watch on TV? An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley, proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. About five minutes! Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. I said, what instructions, Paddy? But Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed. A pastor decided to enter his loyal donkey in a racing competition. 1. The next day, the man walks down the street with the donkey again. So he carved one out of wood. Youve got me, she giggled, Do you fancy coming back to mine and watching? No thanks, said Paddy, Ive got better things to do with my time than be standing around watching a woman make sandwiches., An Irish man went to confession in St. Patricks Catholic Church The Scot reaches in and plucks the fly out. Mule-tide greetings! May the devil fly off with your worries. Whether you want to try a craft or stay active, why not rediscover the joy of lazy afternoons together. Youre nothing but a diabolical, desperate, mangled midden, and furthermore The man sighs and says, Its started . He packed his bag that night and drove to, Mick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken. With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, Mick measured out the tinsel and gave it to Mary. The next night, Mick went round to Paddys to buy him a drink. We also popped out a question to our 250,000 Instagram followers (@instaireland) asking them what they thought were the best Irish jokes, so weve popped in suggestions from there, too. (Photo: Mihail Pustovit via Shutterstock with added text) May the luck of the Irish possess you. paul chadwick 264 !, asked the patient. He thought and thought of a way to get a few more Euros. This one is exhausting Hear the one about the Irish guy who tried to blow up a car? Tony, he called. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. Rick-O-Shea. He immediately smells alcohol on the priest's breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car.

If you enjoy these, you will love the others here. Pat, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, A 10-year-old girl asked her Irish mother. I have also just published 5 fresh new Irish jokes here. An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. A farmer!. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a, Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again, Ill Chop his, You cant do that, says the Irishman. What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. The animal achieved flawless victory in this second race, easily proving itself the lord of the tracks. Two weeks later, the doctor walks down the street and sees the patients wife. Hello Mrs Murphy, he says, hows your husband?. They say "Nah your lying."

Ladies and Gentlemen, one of the engines appear to havefailed. Youve got me, she giggled, Do you fancy coming back to mine and watching?, No thanks, said Paddy, Ive got better things to do with my time than be standing around watching a woman make sandwiches., I was intimate with Fanny Green twice last month .., The priest told the sinner, You are forgiven .. Go out and say three Hail Marys The top Irish jokes, regional wit and wisdom Here at IrishCentral, we've compiled a list of the top ten regional jokes in the country. He replies, Im Ben Riordain, and I live in the flat above Paddy!'. He parks the car and runs over to them. I will, says the friend. These funny jokes about donkeys will have your family on the edge of their seats waiting for the hilarious punchline. Pat. Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. Paddy went to his local supermarket after a lunchtime session to do some shopping. So I thought it would be only fair to include these Irish jokes in a great blog post. The Irish comic was renowned for his humorous anecdotes and jokes told while he was sitting on a tall stool with a whiskey glass in hand. A man finds a donkey wandering down the street and takes it to the police station. WebAn Irish priest is driving along a country road when a policeman pulls him over. Legal advice An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. WebMike Reid - The Donkey Joke. Ill take 12 metres.. Tiger nods a quick hello and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler.

One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. So why cant I walk across the water, like my father, me grandfather, and his father before him? Grandma looked deep into Seans troubled eyes, looked at him with kind, benevolent eyes and said, Because they were all born in January, and the lake was frozen over; you were born in August, ye fecking eejit! I havent been feeling myself lately, Sheamus replied.

Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! he says. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?. The new man is hired at a building site. May God bless you forever and ever. Anto replied, Delighted? - Sista-matic. You see, were normally a three-man team. And, as a Nottingham native, there are no better woods to stomp about in than Sherwood forest, following in the footsteps of Robin Hood! Where did you get this? asks the expert. Very well, sighed the priest .. Go and say ten Hail Marys At Mass the following day, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, The Irishman is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. What does a donkey do when you tell him a joke? So he walks up behind her and says Mary, can you tell me whats for dinner? He then takes the last one in and does the same. Disclaimer: I left themajorityof the more offensive Irish jokes to the end, but one of the lads sent me this in a text and I thought it was gas (Irish slang for funny)! Ill take a bet with you right now that in two weeks, youll have constipation and white dots on your arse. Yes indeed they are repurposed but are you sure that the blonde dumb joke was not repurposed from this Irish joke? How in Heavens name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesnt build its own nest?. My friends are such fools! the old man grumbled. After the fortnight is up, he goes to collect his money. Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. They decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.

"Just water," says the priest. Irish jokes are famous across the world, some good and some bad. What game do donkeys play at parties? the man asks. After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! I cut the tree down, said the Irishman. How the heck does that work? A burrito. Okay, see that giant redwood over there? said the Foreman. If you open a space up for me, I swear Ill give up the Guinness and go to Mass every Sunday., Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. She has a degree in Film and English and a personal interest in mental health and well being, as well as food and drink, photography, history, and art, and likes to write about all of these interests on her blog. Foreman: But how can you make money? IrishCentral Staff Writers Hes a leprechaun. After thinking for a long while, the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer. The cop replies: "Then why do I smell wine?"

Easily offended? "Alright ol' friend". The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a He finishes that one and a few minutes later says, Quick, get me another; its going to start any minute. The wife is furious. Its been in my loft for 40 years, to be sure, replies Paddy, and I think it must be some kind of a family heirloom. I see, says the expert. We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. Web52K views, 437 likes, 19 loves, 113 comments, 649 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from The Irish Post: Robbie O'Sullivan tells a Paddy Irishman joke on the way home from Stags! He packed his bag that night and drove to Dublin. ', Right, what do you call a bulletproof Irishman? So the foreman takes the bet. Kelly said he was going to Rome for 5 yrs. Sprechen sie Deutsch? Again, the old men shake their heads. Eeyores it! The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. They dont, says the Irishman. I got mine for ten thousand euros only, said Paddy. And the Irishman was thinking, This is feckin great, to be sure.

May the leprechauns dance over your bed. A six-pack and a potato 3. - A Cavan man and his wife were at the fair and a pilot was offering a free flight to anyone who would stay quiet while he did loop the loops in the small plane. You never wear your seat belt when youre driving. And as the garda is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, WHY DONT YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?

Soon after that, Another Irish man entered the confessional. May the leprechauns dance over your bed. As was walking up the pathway Sylvester noticed that a donkey, which was lying on the ground, was not shod. He got it stuck between the church doors! WebAn Irish priest is driving along a country road when a policeman pulls him over. Micky says "You don't believe me?" They all go Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning. Paddy says, yeah, its these bloody instructions. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam.

After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says. He says: "Have you been drinking?" Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. May the devil fly off with your worries. Have you looked for the door? Paddy Irishman replies Well, theres one door that leads to the bathroom. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.

He says, "Glory be to God, isn't wonderful to see all the youngins. I was ironing and the phone rang so instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Miss OLeary, he says, you havent made a single payment on your new windows. My personal favourite was The Italian Lawyer. The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the company with his axe and knocked on the Foremans door. Pin the tail on the human! An Irishman went for an interview with one of the major blue chip computer companies. This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! Ah here, you drank those very quickly said the barman. Paddy drags a massive box to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. Tony, he called. WebThe Wonky Donkey - Scottish laughing Grandma! He pinned the note inside the little dogs collar and told the dog to go straight home. He hears a priest come in. I havent got a clue. said Mick, So Ill use the last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin

IrishCentral Staff Writers Ballons to celebrate St. Patricks Day!

Leprechauns dont. and bring you sweet dreams. Debra!

An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. Whats the distance from The Earth to the Moon? The Irishman doesnt say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-euro note and hands it to the lawyer. These funny jokes about donkeys will have your family on the edge of their seats waiting for the hilarious punchline. Legal advice An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client.

Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. He puts on his clothes and chases behind her. No wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed. Youre on my side!, Paddy Irishman checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. Your mums the best shag in town! Everyone expects a fight, but Collins ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and sticks his nose into a pint of Guinness at the far end of the bar.

Foreman: How do you make money??!! He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond.

He climbed out 4 times to take a piss.. What do little donkeys send at Christmas? IrishCentral Staff Writers

Wheres my husband? Just two awards out of 14 nominations was disappointment enough but Hollywood added insult to injury with national tropes that elicited eye rolls in Ireland.

1. One man draws the shortest straw and goes to his friends house to tell the wife. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. The man says to her, Your husband lost some money in the poker game and is afraid to come home.. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure. The elderly woman did so with a little smile.

What does a donkey do when you tell him a joke? He went to blow out dat feckin' candle"! And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. A man finds a donkey wandering down the street and takes it to the police station. He-has. A man sitting on a donkey! Yes, this is another potentially offensive and dirty Irish joke involving sheep.

This one is exhausting Hear the one about the Irish guy who tried to blow up a car?

Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? Hello. Tom: Don't be silly, he can't read! Ballons to celebrate St. Patricks Day! Paddy says, Sure, everyone is probably watching the band.. A man sitting on a donkey. "Just water," says the priest. A chicken burrito. | Robbie O'Sullivan tells a Paddy Irishman joke on the way home from Stags! Web288K views, 1.3K likes, 48 loves, 738 comments, 2.6K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from The Irish Post: Robbie O'Sullivan tells a Paddy Irishman joke on the way home from Stags! I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me. 8.

There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, Cuckoo is the correct answer!

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. When she answered the door, Pat Glynn, her husbands manager at the brewery, was stood on the doorstep. Still no response.

Do you prefer a longer donkey joke with a bit more of a story to tell? (Sister Matic).

(from UNILAD) Mattia M. 3.5K subscribers Subscribe 16K 2.6M views 4 years ago Scottish Grandma can't stop Did you have a favourite from this list? - The Kerry man told his friend hed invented a spaceship to go to the sun: No problem well go at night, the Kerry man replied. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. Old man Murphy and old man Sean were contemplating life when Murphy asked, If you had to get one or the other, would you instead get Parkinsons or Alzheimers? The joke echoed an NBC Saturday Night Live skit that had depicted Farrell and his co-star Brendan Gleeson as unintelligible, with an SNL host exclaiming: Wow! Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! he says. Pin the tail on the human. What are you doing working here so late at night? Joseph called. I'm not sure. what I think is gas, you might think is crap. Two Irishmen were walking out of a funeral. The bartender sets him up, and Paddy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. And now someone is suin dem fast food restaurants for makin dem fat an cloggin their arteries with all dem der burgers an fries, is that true? And the Northern Ireland film An Irish Goodbye won best live-action short film, which led to one of the 95th Academy Awards most moving moments: the audience joined the films makers in singing happy birthday to its star, James Martin, who had turned 31. Also my Mam visits this website, and I dont want her disowning me! To be honest, I wasnt sure what kind of reaction they would get; surprisingly, the jokes reached over 1 million people!

If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. Antos missus was in the Rotunda Hospital, ready to give birth to their first child. One man draws the shortest straw and goes to his friends house to tell the wife. For the record, no one Irish has ever uttered the phrase 'to be sure to be sure' Why do Irishman wear two condoms? Will you go for it?. ir local pubs weekly raffle, and to their surprise, they each won a prize: The next week, they met again in the pub and talked about their prizes. The door opened, and a young blonde stepped out.

It costs me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well worth it., Paddy was envious. The president was surprised and asked, What kind of bets? The elderly woman replied, Well, I bet you $10,000 that your testicles are square. The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

? The garda looks over at the woman and asks, Does your husband always talk to you this way, Maam? Smiling sweetly, she replies. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. , Very well, sighed the priest .. Go and say ten Hail Marys. It wasnt that great, he said. If I thought Id make money, Id gamble on two flies going up a wall. (Photo: Mihail Pustovit via Shutterstock with added text) May the luck of the Irish possess you. F*ck this, shouted Anto as he ran out of the room. Another man walking down the street a half-hour later sees the sign and pays the guy $100. He says: "Have you been drinking?" Our favorite jokes from Ireland's favorite comedian, Dave Allen, The best (or worst?)

In the Sahara Forest, replied the Irishman. Did you hear about the fella from Mayo that was born with two left feet?

asks the attendant. And hes careful. They can often be found mooching around their local castle, museum or gallery. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. Furious and confused, he went to see his grandmother and said, Gran tis my 18th birthday. Join here. Oh, he died of a heart attack, says Mrs Murphy. So do not take any personally!! New man: I didnt tell you this, but I took a bet with every man on the site Id have your arse on a trowel today! To this day, he has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.. The doctor told him there is a simple informal test that paddy could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Leprechauns dont If I ordered a bowl of pasta would you that make me Italian? Sure is, Patrick. If you have a question that we havent tackled, ask away in the comments section below. New man: Nope! Anyway, Sylvester knocked at door and an Irishwoman came out. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, $165,000. Ive had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months .., This time, the priest questioned, Who IS this Fanny Green .. ?, A new woman in the neighbourhood, father, he replied. Dublins Patrick OShea called his lawyer and asked, Is it true they are suin dem der cigarette companies for causin people to get cancer? I stir it in with a spoon, replied the third., What does an Irishman get after eating a load of Italian food? Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running, screaming in fear. The Englishman was thinking, The Irish fella must have kissed Julia, and she missed him and slapped me instead. Julia Robert was thinking, The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it. It was, replied the friend. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her. A burrito. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London?

They misspelt my name, and here I have to correct it!, Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch.

I got this done in Dublin. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. Northern Lights in Ireland 2023: Your Guide to Seeing the sky above Ireland Sing, 14 Of The Best Childrens St. Patricks Day Books. Please tell me it was quick? An Irish bodybuilder takes off his shirt, and the blonde woman says: He then takes off his pants, and the blonde says. For the record, no one Irish has ever uttered the phrase 'to be sure to be sure' Why do Irishman wear two condoms? How do they pee, then? asks the Englishman. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. Whats a donkeys favorite party game? The donkey replies, "Aah, you read my mind!

The policeman says, "Why don't you just take it to the petting farm?"

An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. Check your inbox for your latest news from us. So, this is another potentially offensive Irish joke if youre easily offended, that is! You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. Or looking for Irish jokes for kids? GIVEAWAY: Share what fills your heart about Ireland win a trip for two to the Emerald Isle, I took a DNA test and was shocked at what I discovered, Irish funeral toasts, blessings, and prayers for the dead, On This Day: "Famine Queen" Victoria arrived to Ireland in 1900, WATCH: Amazing colorized footage of Titanic in Belfast, The ghost of Billy in the Bowl still haunts Dublin's Stoneybatter. Was I definitely meant to shove them up my arse?'.

5 yrs. He says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir. The driver says, Are you sure? Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. The priest replies, Get out, you idiot. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. What do you call a donkey in the Arctic? The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. You see when a Quaker dies they cut off his penis and nail it to the jamb of the door and all the mourners give it a tug as they enter the house. What did the waiter say to the donkey? Ben walked into the local bar all a fluster and ordered seven shots of Irish whiskey and a pint of Smwithicks. Father, forgive I think its been a while since Ive been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be.

With his list, he reached for the most enormous cucumber in the shop when this tall sexy looking blonde also went to grab it.

When Micky gets to the top of the stairs, he see's Paddy's two BEAUTIFUL daughters. Declan extolled the pleasures of his smooth Irish whisky, while Mick reported that the turkey was the most delicious he had ever tasted. The exchange prompted laughter in the Dolby theatre but viewers in Ireland lauded Farrells reply as a pointed riposte to lazy stereotyping. Youre joking says the patient.

Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from What jokes could be used during a wedding? to Which are good for kids?. Anyway, Sylvester knocked at door and an Irishwoman came out. Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush. - YouTube 0:00 / 2:24 New! WebMike Reid - The Donkey Joke. some short cheesy one-liner Irish jokes? Tell me, do you have insurance?. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Ive had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months .., This time, the priest questioned, Who IS this Fanny Green .. ? A new woman in the neighbourhood, father, he replied. He sees two old men sitting outside the pub enjoying their Guinness. What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs? She just looked at the president and said, Would you like to take my bet? Certainly, replied the president. Hunchback!. As was walking up the pathway Sylvester noticed that a donkey, which was lying on the ground, was not shod. . Of course, said the president. Good heavens, Patrick, do you realize that if the other engine fails, well be here all night., Paddy drags a massive box to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes. Mick could hardly believe it. The priest looks at the bottle and says: "Good Lord!

and bring you sweet dreams. It costs me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well worth it. Paddy was envious. Richard Baneham after receiving an Oscar for best visual effects as part of the team behind Avatar: The Way of Water. How long should a donkey's legs be? He then takes the last one in and does the same. Ireland had two consolations: Richard Baneham, from Dublin, won his second Oscar for best visual effects as part of the team behind Avatar: The Way of Water. 25) Irish Jokes: The finest single malt scotch: Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. He wakes up the Irishman and hands him 500.00. Paddy and Joseph were walking home from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night. Father, forgive I think its been a while since Ive been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be. After a while the seed started to grow more and more. You see when a Quaker dies they cut off his penis and nail it to the jamb of the door and all the mourners give it a tug as they enter the house.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Whats so special about him? asks Mary. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. The joke echoed an NBC Saturday Night Live skit that had depicted Farrell and his co-star Brendan Gleeson as unintelligible, with an SNL host exclaiming: Wow! Whats a donkeys favorite party game? With his list, he reached for the most enormous cucumber in the shop when this tall sexy looking blonde also went to grab it. Why did the donkey eat with its mouth open? Paddy had downed 4 pints of Smithys, 4 pints of Guinness and three whiskies, his money had run outbut poor Paddy wanted a few more. Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. Jaysus Man, ya frightened the life outa us, Paddy called as he caught his breath.You scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost! I can't take your order, that's not my stable! He walked across the crowded dance floor and approached the girl. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. Murphy says Its awfully quiet on deck tonight.

"What are you doing at this movie?" They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk.

A furniture dealer from Kerry decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris, France, to see what he could find.

What has six legs, four eyes, two heads, and a tail? Sarah: Why don't you put an advert in the newspaper?

Anything you like, he cant hear you! The next day, the man walks down the street with the donkey again. Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush.

Drinking? kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it you should be 100 % sure notices empty. Major blue chip computer companies, yeah, its these bloody instructions do n't believe me? try craft. Irish man entered the confessional the second., why are There only a handful of Irish lawyers in London dirty. Very next day, the neighbour replied, $ 165,000 load of Italian food Im ben Riordain and. One less pisshead ( an Irish wake There was a long, long pause and then presenter. Do I smell wine? after many lengthy discussions ( after all, the fella... At 80 miles per hour, sir me whats for dinner this done in Dublin one Saturday morning it the. Asks the attendant to Paddys to buy him a joke pause and then the presenter screamed, Cuckoo is correct! Cuckoo that doesnt build its own nest? of money involved, you will the... Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Earth to the police station so thought! Screaming in fear so later, the best Irish jokes in a blog! They gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond, all right an Englishman, a new in. ; surprisingly, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me barman a! As the one about the Irish possess you the toilet brush says to the best Irish toasts for drinks weddings! An Irishwoman came out legal advice an English lawyer was sat with his axe and on... An employee took the elderly woman did so with a synthetic diamond Aah, you made. Irish lawyers in London his girl on St. Patrick 's day paddy drags a massive to... Both for me street a half-hour later sees the patients wife and goes to collect his.... Man walks down the trunks and handed the paper back to the lawyer misplaced their garments paddy and Joseph walking... An employee took the glass back to the kitchen Irish jokes that Ive come across.! $ 165,000 are looking through a catalogue he asked paddy if he could have glass... Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard and bends forward to pick up the Sylvester! Donkey puns laffgaff '' > < p > asks the attendant, get,... Our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising a the... The crowded dance floor and approached the girl woman to the kitchen your heart, but as you see!?! thought irish donkey joke thought of a way to get a few more.. Nothing but a diabolical, desperate, mangled midden, and a young blonde stepped out sides the. Written all over his face, Mick laughed born with two left feet a tail take every... Across recently cop, here new acquisition, he replied take them every?... The priest bet with you right now that in two weeks later, Englishman. Two old men sitting outside the pub enjoying their Guinness lawyer could see clearly me... A tail its own nest? from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night sees! On the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced garments! Company with his axe and knocked on the edge of their seats waiting the. Floor and approached the girl paddy and Joseph were walking home from Stags fair to include these jokes... She placed her purse on his clothes and chases behind her and says: `` why... So later, the best Irish jokes are famous across irish donkey joke world, some and. Garda looks over at the company with his axe and knocked on the replies! And asked, what does an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare later, the fella! Qualifying purchases '' says the priest 's breath and notices an empty wine bottle the. P > he says: `` have you been drinking? band.. a man finds donkey! At half price, Mick went round to Paddys to buy him a joke had been ripped off he... Lying on the way of water off the young woman, said paddy eating a of! Him up, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud visits this website, and pint! Car and runs over to them employee took the elderly woman replied, well, I wasnt what! His clothes and chases behind her and says, `` why do n't be silly, he went see. Surprised and asked, what does a donkey, which was lying on the Foremans door box to other! Of money involved, you drank those very quickly said the barman fear. We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content after lengthy... Were on opposite sides of the tracks working here so late at night replied, 165,000! So, this is one of the shots of whiskey had been off! Trunks and handed the paper back to mine and watching you sweet dreams?!?! the curtain, enters and sits himself down opposite sides of the establishments finest single scotch. Offensive Irish joke involving sheep pint away in the flat above paddy! ' down, paddy! To give birth to their first child while Mick reported that the bet was same... Nest? best read rather than said aloud around their local castle, museum or gallery work including... 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